


The Things We Do For Love

by TooYoungToFeelThisTired



Series: What if? [31]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Dark Five, Dark Vanya, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Five is an adult, Five's POV, Leonard Peabody dies, Love Confessions, Murder, No incest if you understand Fiveya, Others Mentioned - Freeform, Romance, Twisted Romance, Yandere Five
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:41:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23278012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooYoungToFeelThisTired/pseuds/TooYoungToFeelThisTired
Summary: True love wasn't easy. Five knew this. He grew up knowing things which mattered, things which were worth it wasn't easy. Love wasn't either. It had to be earned. It had to be earned by patience, time, hard work, and belief. Five didn't mind. He never liked an easy task anyway.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Series: What if? [31]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1313192
Comments: 18
Kudos: 183





	The Things We Do For Love

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything

The problem with the world and why many thought it was loveless was something that only appeared in the last couple of decades. People evolved into independent creatures with different morals, views of the future and believes than their ancestors. Somewhere along the way they became lonely and lost the ability to connect properly through love.

Most of the people didn't understand love. Not really. They were cheated and influenced by the media's presentation of the phenomena.

They wanted the happy ever after alongside their one and only who would be theirs truly until death dues them apart, but sadly they did not want to put the work into it. People in their nature were always lazy creatures that didn't change with time.

The media had people fooled that it should all come easy. That there was a perfect timing, spark, only good and right answers, and everything would work out just fine sooner or later if they did nothing lean back and wait for it all to play out.

People thought they knew love, but they only knew this illusion of it. Not the real raw thing. Not really, not deeply, not truly and in the end _not at all._

People were and always will be sad and desperate creatures. Their needs were and always will be to cling to an easy way because they felt their lives were too hard in everything else. They felt like they deserved an easy love like some validation for living a hard life even if it wasn't really all that hard.

But it didn't work that way. It never did. And when they got to the end of their love story and realized it didn't fulfill the unrealistic expectations, they let it go claiming it wasn't the real thing. They complained that the one they chose wasn't _it_ , the one, the one and only. They did not do the work which was necessary to make their love grew and carry on and get a happy ever after. Most people didn't understand _love_ and what was needed to be done in order to reward them with eternal happiness.

Luckily, Five was never like most people. Being born and raised by Reginald Hargreeves along with six other kids inside a house of horrors and trained since diapers to be a hero would do that to a person.

He didn't mind his oddness of life or love. In fact, he took pleasure in it finding almost everyone who wasn't like him and his siblings terribly mundane and boring to the point of wishing to never interact with anyone else ever again. He knew he was being cruel, but to be fair throughout his childhood he only met with people outside their house's door who were fans, hysterical victims, annoyed and grumpy police officers, and obnoxious reporters so his views of outsiders weren't that great from the beginning, and only worsen with the adding years. If the so-called real world didn't require for Five to participate in it by having a job which involved his coworkers, going out for dinners, lunches, coffee and dealing with staff that provided him these things, buying things and being in contact with cash clerks and some others he would probably avoid people altogether.

Solitude was never a problem for him as long as he had _her_ anyway.

A phone call or her casual visit was all he needed on his vacation days while he could work in the blissful peace of his own apartment. Five didn't need people who weren't his family, and if he was being truly honest, he didn't even like the outsiders and would appreciate if they left him alone.

For more reason than one, Five never was or wanted to be like most people. And because of this, he knew that love wasn't and shouldn't be easy. Loving someone that was easy. You pick someone and push your whole world onto them, spreading the universe that was your life around them like they were the center of it. It was easy to fall in love with someone. It was great. But for that person to love you back, to feel the same intensity as you, to know you were the _only_ one for them that needed time, it needed work, it needed sacrifices. If the person who you loved, loved you back it was a reward. And if Five was thought only one thing in his life under Reginald Hargreeves's roof, it was that rewards needed to be earned by hard work which was exactly what Five intended to do.

* * *

He especially knew so when he got a phone call at 10 P.M on a Friday.

'Hi, what's up?' he asked trying to sound hopeful but not desperate. He was late in the office again. Not as late as he could have been. His record was until 2. A.M so far. His boss tolerated it because Five was the best, and he explained that working at night helped him think better, not to mention no annoying coworkers giggling and chatting in his ear all day long. It was a long and annoying day so hearing her voice even so late was a blessing as always. Sometimes it was all he needed to turn a shitty day into a good one. It also helped him work and focus his thoughts better. Everything she did helped him in one way or another.

There was silence.

Five frowned a bit and check his screen. The time of the call was still running.

'Vanya?' he asked again more urgent getting worried. To be honest, she rarely called this late. She rarely called at all lately. And she never called and not say anything.

'Vanya!' he snapped a bit panicked standing up from his chair when he heard the softest sound. He would recognize it everywhere. Even if she didn't do so often probably because of her pills, when she cried, it was always soft broken sobs like she didn't want to draw too much attention to herself. Only Vanya would think she was annoying or disturbing others with her crying.

'Vanya, you need to tell me what happened,' he told her firmly and started to walk to the door ready to go to her apartment, 'I can't help you if I don't know what do you need help with.'

'Five, I need you to come, I…,' she hiccupped from the crying, and at that moment, he just knew and cut her off before she would finish, 'Don't say anything. I'm coming over.'

He worked on a lot of special military programs. He had no doubt his phone was bugged. If Vanya was about to tell him what he thought, he didn't want anyone to know. Five wasn't like most people. He was smarter. Yes, he was in panic and worried mode when Vanya called, but once he heard her and knew she wasn't in harm at the moment, his intellect kicked in. She did something. She called him because she needed help, cover, alibi or something else. She needed him and whatever she did make her feel so bad she cried. It was bad. Vanya's level of bad which meant standard society level bad which meant no one could know what it was she did if he wanted to help her without causing problems for her. And he did want to help her without causing problems for her.

_The things we do for love._

* * *

Five was different than most people. He figured most people met the person they fall in love with when they were twenty, thirty, in the school, in a shop or on the internet. Not him though.

He considered himself lucky. He and Vanya were born on the same day and adopted into Reginal Hargreeves's little zoo within four weeks apart. Some people spent lifetimes in search of _the one,_ but Five met his in the first months after his birth, forever entwining their lives together in a way so deep and strong no one would be able to break their bond, not even either of them.

From all his siblings Vanya was the one he felt the closest with. It was that way from the start as far as his memories allowed him to go she was always there either in memory or in a thought. She was a constant in his life either as a shadow of a small frame or a glimpse of a piece of brown hair or all of her just sitting on his bed with a small secret smile listening to him ramble about his theories while kicking her legs over the bed. First right leg, then left leg, then right-left, then left leg.

She was everywhere and all the time, and Five wouldn't want it any other way. They just clicked probably from when they were younger - toddlers, kids - and carried the connection even with the adding years. Vanya was different and yet she was just like him. He knew others wouldn't say so. Of course not, because they were morons. They were looking, but not really. Not the way Five was looking at Vanya or she was looking at him.

What they saw was a quiet little mouse, always caring, always nice, unremarkable. To them, she looked isolated from them in everything almost to the point like she wasn't more than a piece of furniture in the background.

Five understood this was the way father made her appear to them. He did this to her. He made her scared, self-aware, neurotic and worried about showing her true self to others, but in a way, Five didn't mind. He even liked it on some level because then he was the only one who could see the real her. It made him feel special that he was the only one who knew about the little smirk she sometimes rewarded him with for a literal reference he used, the spark of passion in her eyes when she felt brave and open enough to talk about music knowing no one would hear them, the cute smile when he complimented her, and she knew he meant it and wasn't being mean or goofing around with her. She could be cheeky as well behind closed doors when no one would hear her. Five loved every aspect of her.

When Diego called Vanya the quiet one, Five had to hold back a snicker. She wasn't quiet. Not really. Not to him. To him, it was like she was the only one talking, screaming, the only one who could hold his attention. She was smart and sharp. She could hold a conversation far more interesting than any other of their siblings. Five liked how she looked. Petite with brown hair and big brown eyes which almost sparked if he got her to smile in the privacy of his room. He just adored everything about her.

He liked having something all to himself. He liked having Vanya, the true Vanya, all to himself. He liked he could make her smile more than anyone even Klaus who was funnier than him, or Ben who was nicer than him.

In Vanya's eyes, it made him, who was better than them if she reserved her smiles just to him. It made him feel better about himself too. That was the thing about Vanya. Somehow she was more important to him than anyone else in their family. How or why her was a mystery to him. All he knew was that one look or smile from her could make his day. It was interesting, and Five often tried to research what made Vanya stand out in her mind before he finally understood.

* * *

Five came to her building and jumped the rest of the way.

Her apartment was a familiar scene for him. She had it since she moved out of the house and managed to turn it from the terrible dungeon it was into somewhat of a decent housing throughout the years. Before his own departure, he had this fantasy that one day Vanya would ask him to come live with her and they would be two misfits out of their father's claws always together, never apart.

However, he later realized that even if Vanya was out of the mansion. The mansion still lived inside her in the sense of her upraising and what father burnt into their minds as right or wrong and this need to please him, to make him happy so he would praise them and treat them as actual human beings, as his children. Five lost the need for that very early on which was why father shifted his focus to humiliating and hurting Vanya if he stepped out of line. The old bastard knew how to convince him to do things he wanted for a very long time once he noticed Five's affection for the girl.

_'I can guarantee you that if you come back things will not be the same, Number Five. You might find most of them misplaced,'_ told him Hargreeves the day Five came to tell him that he will time travel with or without his blessing. Reginald said so while looking straight at Vanya though making it clear, he would send her away.

Whenever they met after she moved out, she asked about their siblings, Grace, Pogo, and father of course, and Five understood she still _cared_ about what they might think. Growing up it was the reason nothing could happen between them yet. She cared for him, loved him, but she wasn't ready. Five could see that. So he knew she would never ask him to move in with her and risk the others seeing or guessing all that. They already made fun of him and her for it.

'I don't want him to hate me more,' she whispered apologetically when she refused to sit with him one day in his room. Even if not to him, she was different from the others. Hargreeves could tolerate them even be pleased by what they did as the Umbrella Academy. But Vanya could never achieve that and so she was always something less in his eyes trying to make up for it by blind obedience. So no Vanya wasn't ready to make him her roommate, but it was alright. All at the right time. Five could wait for her forever if she needed that much time.

Five at least became a frequent visitor. Ever since she started to live here, he came on announced and unannounced visits and security check-ups adding improvements on how to make the place safer. Vanya usually rolled her eyes annoyed claiming the place didn't need any of his adjustment, but Vanya was ultimately a good and naïve person in heart who believed people were just like her.

Five was a realist. He knew people. He was a superhero fighting bad guys, but even apart from that he just knew people outside weren't really _good_. He knew they weren't nice and good like her, and if she ever came across the wrong person, they would hurt her more than her pure mind could imagine. Frankly, Five had to fight the urge to just lock Vanya away forever from the terrible world. He wanted to keep her safe from all he could, but he also knew and loved her too much to take away her music from her. She told him often it was all she had growing up when he was away on missions. He couldn't do that to her even if a part of him thought it would be easier.

That being said, bars on the windows, every year a new alarm, frequent and random changing locks, soundproofing the walls and security doors had to do it, for now, to keep Five's mentality in order not to kill himself overthinking the possibilities of all the bad things which could happen to her. He couldn't always be around, but when he wasn't, he wanted to know she was alright.

Five wanted to keep her safe and even if she thought he was overdoing it, Vanya didn't deny him. She never did. She couldn't because maybe in her absolute blissful naivety she knew he was right. The way she locked all three locks every day she came from work, made sure the bars on windows were locked, called him just so he would talk with her on her way home. She felt safer with him, and happier which was all he wanted in the end.

Apart from the friendly visits when Vanya was home, there were times, he liked to stop by when she wasn't around. Five was the first and presumably, the only one to receive a key from her place, that level of trust meant a lot to him. It was the little things here and there that Vanya did to show him she loved him back, just wasn't ready for them to be together. Of course, Five understood it and was patient about it all taking as much as he could get.

He started to stop by occasionally when she wasn't around just to see what she was doing with the place. She was changing it little by little every day. It was nice and even slowly started to feel homey. Five approved most of the things in her apartment mocking only some but always in good nature. It was simple with Vanya, they could be sassy to each other, but never full-on mean. They understood each other. They were close to one another that way. They loved each other after all.

Five liked to go over her stuff from time to time to see which books she was currently reading what new clothes she bought herself. She was never one to stand out even if she now had the possibility to dress whatever way she wanted to. He would pick up some of her most used clothes from the laundry basket and breathe in her scent. Walking alone in Vanya's apartment was like walking around Vanya's head at times. It made him feel closer to her when she wasn't around.

With time he started to get bolder in the things he did when she wasn't around graduating to laying in her bed it seemed like the natural next step. Depending on the time of day he visited her bed was either still warm or cold but always carrying her presence. It was calming in a way to know she was sleeping there stripped of all her insecurities and doubts. He sometimes stopped by when she was asleep so he knew all too well how calm her face looked in the state of dreaming. Almost angelic. Pure, raw, honest. Everything Five knew the real Vanya was. Everything he loved about her.

When he was alone in her bed, he often closed his eyes and imagined her there with him. Her scent, her smile, her skin against his own. He liked to touch himself to that image of her with her presence around him making it almost too real, like she was really there with him moaning his name in that soft way he caught her once when she was asleep. Sometimes he touched himself and needed to go home to change out of his messy underwear. She was intoxicating. She was everything. His everything.

Whenever he had a bad day, he liked to hear her voice, feel her presence. Sometimes calling was enough, other times seeing her, but when she was in work and it was still so many hours before they could be together without it being suspicious, he liked to jumped into her apartment and lay in her bed instantly feeling better.

He used to think it wasn't the best idea. For him it was. He loved her and needed her and her world to be close to him, but he understood that if someone would to find out they would find it odd and horrible. He knew the outsiders wouldn't understand. His father would take offense thinking it would ruin the Academy's, that was long dead, name. His siblings with Klaus's longing looks at Diego and Luther and Allison's captivation with one another might understand but maybe not approve. Allison still left and got married while Klaus spent with whoever made him feel numb enough.

He was sure that Vanya who was still restrained by the morals of the outside world and by their father's opinion would find it horrible even if she loved him. She wasn't ready for the next level of their love and relationship, and she would think it was something bad or horrible because she was taught it would be. She still loved their siblings and depended on what they might think. She still called Allison not carrying that she ended up talking more often with her answering machine and assistant than their sister. She still prayed in the secrecy of her mind that Reginald would think highly of her. Whenever her name was mentioned or her orchestra in the newspapers she still wondered if he would see it.

No, Vanya wouldn't accept Five jerking off inside his pants and under her covers while she was away and then jumping home to get a shower and reply to her texts to come over. She wasn't ready for it. Yet. But she was getting there.

When he overslept one time and got woken up by Vanya checking his temperature and putting a blanket over him, she just smiled saying he didn't have a fever but should rest. She never questioned how he got in or why was he in the bed. She knew she could trust him. She trusted him. And one day she would be ready for him, for them. He knew so when she touched him so softly her eyes never leaving his until she decided they were touching too much and for too long and let him go.

So Five was very familiar with Vanya's apartment. She often asked him to stay the night if he purposely slept asleep during the movie. She didn't mind sharing the bed and sometimes pulled closer to him like she knew she would be safe. Deep down she knew, she just couldn't accept it yet, but it was fine because Five could wait.

* * *

Five looked to the side behind her couch where he noticed the blood marks and found the body. He didn't have to turn the man around to see who he was. He recognized the poor choice of clothing and dark hair. He wasn't dead long. There was no smell and the blood looked fresh like it could get on his clothes. He still risked it and went to check the man's pulse just in case he needed to finish him with a pillow or break his neck.

He was dead. His body looked horrible and there was a decent pile of kitchen supplies on the ground. If Five didn't force Vanya to make the walls soundproof two years after she moved here this would be bad. But as it was with the windows closed there was no way anyone could hear them.

That was when he heard it. Panicked breathing on the edge of crying before it was silenced again.

He made his way to the kitchen before pulling his shoes off he didn't want to get the blood anywhere else, but when he found Vanya formed into a shaking ball on the ground by her fridge with blood marks all the way to her and her sleeve still dripping, he realized it was pointless.

His movements were slow, careful. He wasn't afraid of her. It wasn't rational of course. But then again love wasn't a rational thing. She could still have a knife and be in shock, but the thing was Five wouldn't even care if she stabbed him. If it made her life happy, he would allow her to torture him until his dying breath, but he also didn't think that would make her very happy. She needed him. She needed them.

His hand found her shoulder which was the first time she raised her head and looked up at him properly.

'Five?' her voice was so weak and desperate. He wasn't sure he ever heard her like this. Except there was a distant memory of a very little Vanya holding into his shoulder while they were dressed in their pajamas begging him not to tell dad or he would send her to the darkroom again.

'It's alright, I'm here,' he said softly right before Vanya threw her arms around him and started to sob against his suit jacket.

He pulled her closer letting his fingers run through her hair giving her comfort the same way he did since they were kids and someone said something hurtful to her before he paid them back with revenge. He could be very creative and even if Vanya didn't want the others to know how close they were, they quickly learned not to mess with her.

He let her get it all out knowing she wouldn't be able to explain him anything otherwise and feeling himself think clearer and grew calmer just by having her in his arms. He could fix it. Whatever happened he would fix it. Her clothes looked in place and she didn't look hurt which meant the asshole didn't touch her. So something else happened. A fight? An accident? When Vanya moved out, Five forced her to learn a few moves in self-defense.

_'Won't you come and rescue me?' she joked but looked all too pleased when she got him on the mattress they put on her floor._

_'I will always,' he assured her, 'This will just buy me a few minutes.'_

He did so because he hated the city and humanity at times and knew they were both garbage capable of the most horrible things.

Once Vanya settled down she pulled a bit away her eyes red and face twisted from crying so couldn't recall the last time, she cried so hard. Yet, he still thought she looked pretty when she finally said in a panicked voice, 'I killed him, Five. I…I killed him.'

* * *

Love wasn't easy. It would have been nice if it was, but it wasn't. Five knew that the game of life and love was tricky, and to win he had to be patient and allowed a few misses. Those were the occasional and meaningless men Vanya dated from time to time.

It started shortly after Vanya moved out. Matt was a college student, who stocked the shelves in a nearby grocery shop. To say that Five didn't think about beating him up and stacking him into a shelf would be an understatement. Although Five hated him and thought he was a scum who should rot in the park where he would bury him alive one night, he wasn't a bad kid. He was plain, and a bit shy and lucky for Five only was interested in Vanya for a short while.

So when she called him to come over and hugged him tight burying her head into his shoulder saying she hated Matt, he even liked the guy a bit for showing Vanya that she didn't need any outsider to make her happy because they couldn't. Only Five could. Still, he did cause her to be sad and Five couldn't forgive him so he made him disappear. He figured it had more pros than cons when Vanya let out a relieved sigh every time they went to the shop, he used to work at.

'If I will never see him again, I will die happy,' she told Five when he helped her with the groceries about a week later. And her wish was always his command.

There were others. Not a lot, but a few here and there. No one serious though. Sometimes it was even Vanya who ended it with a shrug.

'It wasn't meant to be,' she would say or, 'I wasn't feeling it.' Once she even asked with a giggle, 'Why would I need anyone when I have you?' It made Five happy and confident about their relationship because even if she wasn't completely aware of it, deep down she knew he was the one for her. She just needed a bit more time, and Five could always give it to her if she would put her head against his shoulder after the breakup. Because even if it annoyed and sometimes made him angry that she dated other men, every time it didn't work out she came running to him, and he proved again and again that he was the only one for her. The only one who truly loved her and would do anything for her.

Usually, the men weren't a real threat. Sometimes Vanya introduced him to them and other times he introduced himself. He could always tell if they were really interested in her or just liked to be liked by someone like Vanya who made you feel so good about yourself you almost believed you really were that good. But there was no passion, no real connection. And eventually, those none threatening men either stopped seeing Vanya or she stopped seeing them. It was better for everyone really.

However, on occasion, some of the men proved to be troublemakers.

She didn't introduce him to David. She didn't even mention him in any way, but Five knew the signs. He was in her apartment, and he could tell from the new clothes and marked dates in the calendar she was seeing someone. That, someone, was her colleague who buttered her up saying how talented she was and how one day she would be big. At least from what Five overheard when he stalked them on, what he assumed, was their fifth date.

To be completely honest he was disappointed in Vanya when he found out she slept with the man and how attached she was becoming of him. Five was planning a quick yet painful ordeal for David, but right before he was about to leave his apartment, Vanya called him over. It didn't matter he could postpone it.

_'I don't think I actually believed him,'_ she lied when he came over and made her company while she got mindlessly drunk because she caught him with another colleague. Clearly, David thought a lot of women were talented and would be great one day. He failed to realize Vanya actually would.

Despite that it was a fun night with them drinking, dancing in her tiny living room and laughing. Again, Five would almost be thankful to David, but he still upset Vanya and slept with her so he couldn't escape his fate.

_'It wasn't very good. It really wasn't good at all. I didn't even enjoy kissing him,'_ she laughed while making a grimace before she covered her face giggling drunking the pink in her cheeks from the wine, making her look adorable as she apologized for oversharing.

When Vanya turned toward him hours later with a look on her face Five never saw before, he was caught off guard, which was the reason why when her lips fell on his and her knees hugged his waists as she ended up sitting in his lap it took him a moment to react or even phantom what was happening. Surely some of his lack of response could have been blamed on the alcohol which even with his own intoxication he could taste from Vanya's mouth as her tongue moved against his. It was surreal all of it, and when it was all done Five almost thought it was just a dream or daydream conducted by his drunk mind and Vanya's proximity. But not even his dreams were ever this kind to him in making it feels so _real_.

She buried her fingers into his hair circling it over each one of them before she pulled with a roughness he didn't see in her before but didn't find all that alien based on what he knew about the real her. She was different now, but not at all. She set the pace. Her kisses were hard yet delicious. Not soft, or quiet or whatever everyone else thought she was deep down inside. No. Her kisses were alive and raw and when she bit his lower lip a bit too hard draining blood, he would have sworn he fell in love with her even more.

It was quick, urgent and over even faster than it started yet it gave him more than any cheap hookup he ever had some to chase out the longing for her, some to learn enough to be just right for her with substitutes who looked like her but could never evoke _this_ inside him what she could manage from the first kiss.

He finally found some control and kissed her back pushing to the extremes. This was what he wanted for so long and it was here. Dream or not it felt too real not to take advantage of it.

They made out for a while both panting against one another and trying to touch as much naked skin as possible without really pulling their clothes off. She ended it just as suddenly as she started before she rushed to the bathroom the alcohol proving to be too much all while leaving Five on her couch thinking it couldn't be real.

The next day she made them pancakes, and whenever they got close to discuss what they did on the couch the conversation shifted first by her, and when he realized it still wasn't the groundbreaking moment which would change their relationship, by him as well. He was still over the moon even with the headache that she at least went for it her lips forever imprinted against his as a reminder of their sweet kisses. Even if she went so far as to lie to Allison the next time she spoke with her about how he cheered her up that she blacked out, Five knew the truth as he felt her eyes on the back of his head while he sipped coffee in her living room. She thought about it. She felt something. She liked it. She was starting to realize she loved him. And soon all would be well and he would get his reward.

He killed David a day later making it look like an accident while coming out of the bathtub. He even thanked him with a smirk on his face almost tempted to call Reginald and tell him he wasn't as ungrateful as the old man paint him out to be.

* * *

He brushed her hair away from her face looking at her. Even crying and red she was the most beautiful woman he knew, 'Do you want to tell me what happened?'

She looked away for a moment holding onto his jacket a bit tighter thinking. He didn't need to know. He trusted her enough to know she had no choice. He trusted her enough to know she needed to kill him because he threatened her or hurt her in some way. But he could tell she needed to talk about it. Vanya was like that. She was a good person. If she did something bad, if something bothered her, she wanted to talk about it with him, only him. He earned that privilege a long time ago.

_'I feel like no matter what I tell you, you will understand,'_ she told him after the first time she had an outburst of rage about Reginald being an asshole to her.

'I don't know. He came here upset,' she hiccupped a bit as she started to talk and brushed her face a few times.

'We were supposed to meet up a few days ago. He invited me over to his place, but I canceled,' she said softer than before, and he understood why. She meant the night she invited him over again. So she even canceled a date with her boyfriend for him. If he could, he would allow himself to show his pleasure with a smile, but he didn't want to discourage her. Instead, he just brushed her hair again thinking about kissing her.

Her eyes stayed on his and for a moment. He watched her shift with something other than shock and panic. Vanya looked at her hand on his jacket her face unreadable for a moment, 'He said I should stop seeing you that it was messing with our relationship and that he didn't understand why we were meeting so often,' she took in a deep breath her panic changing into annoyance when she frowned a bit recalling probably the argument with Leonard, 'We fought about it, I guess. I just got so angry about why did he care about you and how often we met and that it wasn't his business.'

She swallowed a bit and bite her bottom lip, 'Then I don't know I blacked out.'

When she looked up at him, he wasn't sure if she was lying or not. Vanya's blackouts went way back to the time they were little kids. Five didn't remember it honestly that much, but Luther once said he recalled Vanya throwing tantrums and things lying around and furniture being destroyed. Ben dismissed it as Vanya would never do anything like that while Vanya said she remembered moments of being upset or angry and then black, not a single image until it was all over. It happened a few times when they were older in the house usually with Grace, Reginald, and Pogo dealing with Vanya, the mess and whatever happened, and Vanya still claiming she couldn't remember. Five knew she wasn't the quiet one. He knew there was something dark and tempting insider. He just didn't think it could be the same thing that lived inside him, but he didn't mind. He loved her. All of her. All the dark corners and places. You can love someone to death with all of the bad things they did. Five did.

His free hand moved to her cheek and he softly stroke it with his knuckles, 'I believe you.'

She nodded relief clear from her face before she closed her eyes and took another deep breath, 'I should call the police.'

Neither of them moved.

Vanya was a good person. Better than him. Better than most he knew. She was just good. He loved that about her. He loved how she believed in people, in their siblings, father, in the world. He loved she would want to do the right thing. But he also loved that she wouldn't. He loved that deep down in the corner she rarely let herself show, she was selfish like others. She was, and he knew it and loved it about her as well. He knew she was. If she wasn't selfish, she would let him go. She would tell him or try to push him away when she wasn't sure she could allow herself to love him the way he loved her, but she didn't. If she wasn't selfish, she could look more into why did her colleague, who cheated on her stopped coming to work, or the boy from the grocery store, but she didn't. If she wasn't selfish, she could have told him to stop coming to her or not invite him and make out with him even though she was dating Leonard, but she didn't. She could have called the police immediately after she realized what she did, but she didn't. She called him instead. Deep down Vanya was selfish which was okay. She was human. She had flaws. Five wasn't ignorant of them, but he loved her and by proxy even them. Ordinary people wouldn't understand that. They would look at her flaws, her selfishness and put it against her like she could control it like they were perfect, and they only wanted someone perfect, but not Five. Five knew love wasn't perfect. He knew people weren't perfect. The world wasn't perfect. So why should Vanya be? But he didn't care about perfect. He cared about her. He loved her. All of her. Just like he hoped someday she could allow herself to love all of him. Most people didn't understand love the way Five did. So most people were unhappy and thought the world was loveless. But not Five.

He knew she didn't really want to call the police.

He brushed her hair and moved his hand to the back of her head to force her to look up at him. Her brown tired eyes locked with his, 'You're a talented musician, who has her whole life and career ahead of her.'

She watched him for a moment before she said like it needed to be said not because there were remorse, not big ones at least, 'I killed him.'

'He made you angry. Maybe even tried to hurt you,' said Five trying to reason with her his hand still holding her head in place, 'You're barely 5'1' how could you overpower him if not without a weapon?'

'You don't know he tried to hurt me,' she whispered her voice more factual than argumentative.

Five shrugged his shoulder, 'Do you? He argued with you. I'm assuming it was bad if you needed to tell him off.'

'I killed him.'

'He deserved it.'

'Because he argued with me?' she asked skeptically and a bit annoyed maybe with herself but mostly with him now because he was giving her a way out she wasn't sure she wanted, but he did. That much Five knew.

'Because he hurt you by making you mad,' he said looking into her eyes trying to prove his point, 'By talking about me, about us. By trying to get between us.'

She watched him and they both knew what he meant. He wondered how many times she looked at David's empty chair before they hired someone new and wondered what happened. How many times she looked at him and thought how did he make it look like an accident.

'What now?'

Five leaned toward her and kissed her forehead taking his time before he leaned away to look at her again and said like it was the most natural thing in the world, which at that moment it felt like it was, 'We take care of the body.'

* * *

They didn't talk about it, but it was up there in the air, and it changed things. There was a time before the kiss and after the kiss and everything after the kiss was almost charged with electricity.

Five caught Vanya thinking. More and more from time to time she would be looking at him and space out her eyes sometimes even falling to his lips or chest or lower. She would touch him more or blush probably recalling now how it felt to have his hands on her waists as they grind against one another.

He should have been furious when she started to date someone new, but the more he got to know the man, Leonard, the more he realized he was a lie. A final attempt on Vanya's part to continue with the lie that they weren't in love, that she didn't feel the same, that they weren't who they were and wanted what they did. A man like that would never make her happy, and he could tell so from the way she tried to avoid his kisses and touches to how rarely they met anywhere but in public places for coffee or lunches. The poor asshole didn't even get dinner.

When it happened again it was like a recreation of a scene he was all too familiar with. He came over. They had their laughs and fun and everything felt the same as before except there was a tension like they were both waiting for something. Since Vanya was the one who needed time and to do this on her own terms Five remained patient. He didn't push her, he didn't try to speed things up.

He had a plan. He wanted her love and for that, he had to wait until she was ready. Having her in his lap and kissing was just a prequel to what he would have to make the waiting more bearable even if it had the opposite effect since now he had to think about kissing her all the more knowing what how it felt in the first place.

She was still dating the man which Five had no idea why, but he let her since from all her previous boyfriends this was the least important one in her life or the great plan. She said he was busy tonight, and that she felt like they could spend some time together like old times. Like when she kissed him and crawled into his lap making him almost see stars at least that was how Five interpreted the invitation.

They drank far less than before. He wondered if she noticed as well, and when she kissed him it was less wild and urgent. It was slow and exploring giving them both time to adjust and fully feel all of it out. Their kissing was almost lazy the way he would imagine they would kiss after being together for a couple of years, but he found thrill and enjoyment in it the same. Her lips tasted like red wine but like her which was different from last time when his brain was too clouded. He could also make out the soft exhales and moans she let out when he switched their position and pushed her against the couch. Everything was slow and beautiful in its own pace and Five found himself breaking the kiss and just hugging her in his arms after a while pressing his face against her neck and just breathing her in, enjoying the moment.

There were thousands of things he could have said or do, but instead, he just held her knowing all too well it was only a matter of time, and he didn't want it to be while she was dating or fake-dating someone.

'When will you break up with him?' he whispered against her ear before teasing his teeth against the shell.

Her breathing increased and she held him closer his hair getting tangled around her fingers again, 'In a few days. I need to get my pills. I lost them somewhere in his house.'

He could tell her he would go there and look for them but decided to leave this one for her knowing she understood all too well what he meant.

He kissed her one more time on the throat making sure she let out a soft sound before he got off her and out of her place before he would ruin it reminding himself love took time and needed to be earned and that it wouldn't take too long.

* * *

Five wondered when did disposal a body and covering his tracks became something, he was so good at, as Vanya and he got the body into the moving truck he stole and drive off with it.

'You've done this before?' she asked him after a few silent miles.

'Yes,' he replied calmly. No point in lying. No point in hiding anymore. He saw the worse of her and loved her, he trusted her to see the worse of him and do the same. Love was supposed to be the acceptance of one another.

'David?' she asked after a moment not looking at him. She didn't sound upset. She didn't sound scared. She didn't sound any different than if she stopped by his place for a movie night.

'And Matt,' he added while stopping at a red light.

'Because they cheated or were in the way?' asked Vanya after a moment and this time she did look at him.

Five looked into her eyes already starting the car as he saw the orange went on from the corner of his gaze, 'Both, but mainly because I could tell you wouldn't break it off yourself.'

She continued to watch him for another moment before she asked, 'Will you continue to do this to any other future boyfriends of mine?'

'There will be no other future boyfriends,' he told her firmly this time meaning it. He was done with this. She knew, he loved her now, and knew how she felt about it. There was no point in trying to find something she never would in pitiful assholes who would only end up in a black bag one way or another.

She brushed her face for a moment and took in a deep breath. He couldn't tell if she was annoyed or in peace with what he told her. She didn't say anything else the rest of the way.

They got into his house easily. Vanya looked for anything she might have forgotten there mainly her pills while Five found a good cover story. The man had criminal history he apparently forgot to mention to Vanya. It wasn't hard to make it look like someone from his past came to set up some record straight. He even broke into the man's safe for good measures.

'I killed him,' said Vanya as she watched Five take some money out of it and stuffing it into a bag. He wondered if she thought about what other things Leonard kept from her and why.

'Well, you always wanted to be a part of the Academy,' he said jokingly. She didn't find it funny, but Five knew it was a matter of time. They weren't like the outsiders. They were a part of a different world. One where if Luther threw someone against the wall too hard and sent him into a coma or Allison rumored someone off the roof or the countless of suckers Ben tore apart, but it was all swept under the rug with Hargreeve's lawyers and money. They were the superheroes, the great Umbrella Academy. The headlines couldn't say superhero family killed or crippled people only that they saved the day.

Vanya could be upset, but she knew it was true, so she didn't comment about it as they went to search his attic pausing as they noticed the massive stash of Umbrella Academy items.

Five speared her a look as he found her crossing her arms and frowning before he smirked, 'Probably not feeling so bad about killing him?'

It was still too soon though.

Five managed to set the house on fire and get them out.

'What if someone comes asking questions?' she asked on the ride back, but he dismissed the idea, 'Whatever he wanted from you, he didn't tell anyone. And since he knew who you are he did want _something_ from you,' he said not adding but both of them knowing it would have been something bad which made Five pleased that Vanya killed the asshole even more than before.

He looked at her hoping now she understood no one would love her the way he did. And whoever came close would never be good enough, in fact, they could be really bad people. This man was a criminal who was only after her because of her connection to the Academy. He didn't tell her any of that. Did he want to hurt her? Use her in some way? Five's stomach felt sick when he thought of the possibilities of what he wanted to do and why.

Vanya looked pale in the car. Paler than she did in the apartment when he genuinely for a few moments wasn't sure if she wouldn't pass out when they were stuffing the body and cleaning up the blood.

Five reached his hand and put it over the one she had been crushing against her thigh for the last ten minutes. It took a moment but finally, she stopped and turned it around allowing their palms to touch and fingers to entwined.

He knew her well, better than anyone, and he knew she understood no one else would love her the way he did. No one else could.

* * *

Since early age Five was drawn toward Vanya by her personal gravity. It was like she was the sun. The center of the room. The center of his unshaken attention whenever he saw her. Father often told him to stop looking at Seven which resulted in embarrassing her and bringing amusement to the others, but Five didn't care. He couldn't stop. If she was present his eyes were always on her like a hawk.

He couldn't help himself. It was an obsession of a little boy about his favorite toy, which never faded, never weaken, never disappeared. Instead, it grew and evolved and ultimately became a feeling he could name even if not fully understand by the age eleven when Ben gave him his Anna Karenina. The desperation, the madness, the happiness. It was love. All of it was love. When it's love, it's love, you know it, and you want all of it. And Five knew it and wanted all of it.

The next time he saw Seven after he finished the book, he took her hand and told her she was his favorite person in the house.

She blushed and pulled her hand away looking around to make sure no one heard them. Five understood it. If the others knew, they could tell father. If they told him, it would cause more problems for her. He would never want that for her, so he just smirked at her and asked her to come to his room knowing when she accepted. She felt the same. She wanted to be with him. She just needed time. She just needed to be comfortable enough to let it in. She needed to believe in herself more.

It would be a lie to say he didn't understand it, the way people tend to think or say when they were clearly in denial about their love. Because Five knew he loved her. He loved her since he could think and understand love. He just did. He recalled moments when they were younger, when they were playing under the covers in each other's room, or building the perfect castles from the blocks, and he just knew she was different than the others to him. Special. She was always special to him, and he was special to her.

But even Five understood that some things couldn't be rushed, and even if deep down he was sure Vanya felt the same, but she was so obsessed with pleasing father and fitting into their house, that she would deny it, hide it, pushed it away just so she wouldn't fall into his wrath the same way Luther and Allison tended to.

It was a shame, a loss of years and years, but Five was good at waiting. Patient. He knew things that were worth it needed to be earned. And he had every intention to do so.

* * *

Five watched as Vanya sat down on the couch with a blank expression on her face. They got rid of the blood and their clothes, but they would need to do more maybe later though. They had to strip which Vanya didn't even comment just did so leaving only her white underwear on. She didn't even look at him. He gave her some privacy even if she didn't seem to bother by her lack of clothing at the moment.

'Shower?' he asked but she shook her head and laid down on the couch. They would have to get rid of it as well.

He went to the shower first. He never did this before in her bathroom. He was afraid she would come home and he wouldn't be able to explain why he was showering here so whenever he needed to he just went home.

Five stripped, put all of his clothes into the bag and stepped into the stream. He still has some clothes here for later. He almost smiled at the thought of how connected he was in Vanya's life even before this that he had clothes here and things almost like he lived here.

The water was hot. He needed this. He wasn't new to disposing bodies even before Vanya's boyfriends. Being apart of the Umbrella Academy wasn't always clean. He didn't lie about that.

His mind drifted again to everything which happened. He tried to look for things that could lead to them or backfired but found nothing. They were in the clear. Vanya was in the clear. It would be fine. They would deal with it.

He sighed and closed his eyes. He would make coffee after the shower and tug Vanya to bed properly assuming she would allow herself a shower.

His mind drifted to her lying there in her underwear again and to what happened a few days ago.

_'He said I should stop seeing you... We fought. I just got so angry... Then I don't know I blacked out...'_

Five knew she got angry at Leonard, but he still felt a bit anxious. He didn't want her to shut herself up against the possibility of them not after they made out again. Not after he could see the wheels inside her mind spinning with what-if scenarios, and her eyes wandering over his body every now and then. Because his certainly wander. He never saw her in her underwear before which was a shame. She looked so gorgeous. He found himself getting turned on just by the memory of her white bra and panties. He would store that for later now he needed to finished cleaning himself up and getting rid of the last of clothing. They would need to get rid of the couch and paint the living room and kitchen. But they had time for that. He didn't think about would link him to Vanya. He didn't think he told anyone about her in case he needed to get rid of her.

He was too caught up in all of it and tired and lacking coffee which must have been why he didn't notice Vanya approaching until her soft hands touched his elbow. Sometimes she surprised him just how sneaky and fast learner she could be even if he knew this about her.

He looked down at her his breath caught inside her his throat as he watched her completely naked carefully stepping into the tub holding onto him for support.

She was naked and divine. Nothing like how he imagined because whenever he imagined her naked form she was stunning and petite only for the purpose of him chasing his release. In real life, she was celestially beautiful and Five's heart stopped and mind went blank when he saw her like this, all of her, completely.

He was silent as she got into the tub with him not even capable of moving away to make her space which forced her to press herself too close to him. She was soft. Fuck she was so soft. Her body was perfect. He knew it would be, but it really was.

Her breast pressed against his stomach, and Five might have died and gone to hell where he could feel her but couldn't move.

His throat went dry and everything in his mind broke leaving him gasping for air and thought of what to do next. He couldn't look away from her pinkish nipples feeling them erected and pressed against his body. He was probably dreaming. Maybe he worked too hard and was having a hallucination. Maybe Vanya never called him, didn't kill Leonard, and didn't come to the tub with him.

The water falling down his back was cold compare to the burning heat inside him now. He didn't think he was ever turned on as much as he was at that moment.

Finally, his brain must have rebooted itself, and he realized what to say, or better yet ask of her as he opened his mouth, 'Vanya-'

Before he could finish, Vanya's index and middle finger were pressed against his lips making it hard not to suck them in or kiss him. It was then he finally managed to avert his eyes from her delicious body and look into her face, her eyes filled with the same look he first saw before she got into his lap and kissed him for dear life, lust.

'Let me do this,' she whispered, but not softly, not quietly. Not like a pushover, or a victim, but like a woman who wanted something and wasn't apologizing for taking it.

Her other hand which was still on her elbow moved to his chest and she let his lips free to speak, but probably for the first time since ever, Five didn't want to say anything. Her hands pressed against his chest which was in the same level of her face, and he found it ridiculously impossible just how petite and small she was.

She moved her hands down through it to his stomach tickling him for a moment before he let out a small groan as her fingers stroke his erection.

Her brown eyes looked up at his one more time, and he could tell she already made up her mind, not that he was planning to stop her.

She got on her knees in the small tub without much of a problem and licked him causing him to groan again like an animal. When she put her perfect little mouth on him, she might as well sent him into another dimension as he lost all concept of the reality and what was real around him except for her holding onto his thighs as she sucked him in deeper and started to move.

Five clenched his fist and pressed it against the wall as hard as he could trying not to follow instinct and grip her hair like a caveman even if that was the first thing he wanted to do.

She was too perfect for that.

He was losing himself. With just a few sucks, he couldn't even comprehend Vanya just the sensation she was giving him. It never felt like this. Even when he was getting the job done himself it felt different. Vanya made it feel different, amazing.

He felt her hand on his fist after a while and before he she unclenched it and pull it against her head. When he looked down, she let him go just to glance at him and say, 'You can touch me. I'm not fragile.'

_Oh, he knew._

He knew so better than anyone. He knew she wasn't the quiet one. He knew she wasn't just soft or gentle. No, the real Vanya could be rough and enjoy being roughed.

She licked her tiny reddish lips and sucked him in again. His cock hit the back of her throat and he cursed gripping heir wet hair tightly. It wasn't soft as it usually was. The water made it wet and sticky. He found even that to be arousing.

His cock had never felt so heavy and full before. As she drew back only to swallow him down deeper everything the room, the apartment, the rest of the world disappeared.

After a few breathless moments of experimentation which seemed all too much for Five, she set up a steady rhythm and his thighs corded against the pleasure.

He knew he wouldn't last. It was all happening too fast, and he was too overstimulated to gain control again.

'Vanya,' he tried in a straggled voice which he didn't recognize, but when he looked down at her, she gave him a confident and teasing look before she went even deeper. Her hand was abruptly on his base, and she bobbed her head on him before he could finish what he wanted to say not sure if he even would have.

The next thing he knew he was coming hard into Vanya's pretty mouth. He came harder than ever letting out another groan barely holding back a full-on shout. Pleasure overtook him in full washing everything else away and leaving him helplessly fucking into her mouth through the aftermath to carry on the sensation.

He distantly heard a small choking sound, but Vanya's mouth remained on him and when Five finally started to notice the world around him again he found he was lightly brushing her hair, speechless.

He trembled hard when Vanya released his member with a small sigh, the first thing which came to him was the sound of the running water.

Her hand lightly wiped some of him from her chin and mouth before she slowly got up.

His hand instantly flew to the back of her hair, and he forced his mouth on hers.

The water made the whole room full of steam and hot like they were in their own personal bubble where they could do anything they wanted; the rest of the world gone.

Somehow their kisses tasted even better than before, and Five found himself spinning her around and pressing against the wall.

His free hand moved through her body. She was a work of art.

When his hand brushed against her heated center, she let out a small moan which would forever haunt his dreams.

His lips tore away from her and moved to her cheek almost biting her as his fingers twist against her to stroke her, 'F-five.'

'I got you,' he said as he felt her hips shake and her pulse strike as he moved his mouth against it.

He moved slow ignoring her pleading sounds for _faster_ which might as well be music to his ears. He wanted her to get the most of it. Later he would taste her. Later he would bury himself inside her and not come out until she would be completely ruined with his name the last existing word in her vocabulary, but right now he just wanted to hold her and let her have it with his thumb circling her clit and fingers slowly making their way inside her.

Her hands move to his shoulder and back pushing him closer to her, 'Oh, Five. Fuck. Oh.'

Her mouth was a dirty thing. He figured that when she took his cock inside, but he learned just how dirty when slowly forced an orgasm out of her. He would enjoy getting to know this side of her in the fullest.

He focused on her neck hoping to leave a mark.

'FIVE!' she whispered-screamed his name once she came against his fingers pumping into her while tormenting her clit. She would have fallen but he held her tight, held her close.

Her breaths were rapid and uneven as she tried to come back to him his fingers continuing to move inside her through it. When she came again, he made sure he saw her face as it lightened up and release her primal expression. He didn't think she ever looked more beautiful. He set her free when she pushed his hand away struggling to speak or breathe.

Five easily held her with one hand and retreat the soap bottle with another before applying it on his hands and massaging it against her.

'You're gonna take care of me?' she asked her voice tired yet satisfied and sounding very nice in his ears.

'Don't I always?' he asked and continued to wash her before she found her breath and functioned again.

Once they were done, they got out and dried in Vanya's towels before crashed on her bed where Five pulled her closer his lips pressing against her ear, 'You know how I feel about you, right?'

_I love you! I love you! I love you!_

She was silent for a moment the water dripping from her hair soaking her pillow, 'I know. I always knew,' she looked at him her face soft, calm, relaxed. Something she only was when they were alone for hours in one of their apartment away from the outside world, away from their siblings, away from their past, 'You gave me time. Thank you.'

'Don't thank me,' he said and bite her ear causing her to let out a startled yelp, 'I love you.'

There was a momentary pause before she said, 'I love you too.'

'I know,' he said and kissed the spot he bit making her let out a pleased sigh. He always knew she did, but her finally saying it did cause a smile to force its way on his lips. All it took was murdering her boyfriend. He kept the dark thought to himself, but he had a feeling she thought so too.

True love wasn't easy. Five knew this. He grew up knowing things which mattered, things which were worth it wasn't easy. Love wasn't either. It had to be earned. It had to be earned by patience, time, hard work, and belief. Five didn't mind. He never liked an easy task anyway. So he did everything he could. He waited for Vanya throughout the years, he made sure she knew just how much he loved and cared about her and wanted nothing more just for her to be happy, he let her take her time and spent years searching for something no one else could give her but him all while knowing, in the end, she would see it herself and come to him, and he got rid of a few obstacles in the way. Love was a reward and he earned it.

She moved to the side and look at him her eyes dark again, so he leaned closer and kissed her letting both of them get lost in their love.

**Koniec**

**Author's Note:**

> A.N: Hey, I hope everyone is doing alright, stay safe and good luck.
> 
> I started this one back in January but didn't have the motivation to finish until this weekend. I wanted to make something similar to I Call You Mine where Five and Vanya were a bit darker, self-absorbed and selfish. Also, the blackouts are due to Vanya thinking she's ordinary because Allison rumored her, so whenever she does use her powers she can't remember that she did. I was also playing with the idea of Vanya having a split personality that only comes alive during the blackouts but decided to use it in another story.
> 
> Thank you for reading and support.


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